Detachable Penis
by 4arrows
Summary: Story for yukihime on Miroku has not been completely forthcoming all the details about his family's curse.
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: yukihime asked me to do something that reminded her of the song Detachable Penis by: King Missile. While I am quite concerned over her taste in music, I was drunk and said yes, so here we go. Understand, I promise nothing...I repeat nothing. Read at your own risk. This will be Sessh/Kag .

4--

Detachable Penis

Miroku woke to a pounding, a drumming in his head that began at his temples, and stopped at his feet. He pushed slowly up to one elbow, and looked around. The sun was up, but so far, he was the only one in the camp that was moving. He rubbed his aching head and remembered the events of yesterday.

--

They had celebrated last night, Shippo has slain a demon on his own yesterday. Sure it had been a slug demon, and probably had a history of heart problems, and apparently had asthma as well, but no matter. Everyone else ran in panic, having never even seen a slug Youkai before, let alone battled one to know it's weaknesses.

The enraged demon had spit out a huge blob of... well slug goo apparently, that everyone had no difficulty avoiding, except InuYasha. Shippo knew what to do with a slug that is getting rowdy, as most young boys do. He ran over to Kagome's bag, narrowly avoiding InuYasha slogging around in the goo, and retrieved a can of salt. He valiantly leaped on the demon's back, and poured salt on it till it turned into a small pond of goo that washed over the barely freed InuYasha, coating him a second time.

Kagome and the rest had been so proud of him, with his quick thinking and daring salt sprinkling technique. They had praised him, and had carried him back to their camp, not far from a village. All the villagers had come out to thank the group for ridding their village of the terrible demon that he been... well... gooing up the place.

The villagers gratitude was so great that they brought a great feast and lots of sake, for they were upper-middle class peasants. Kagome sent InuYasha and Shippo to the the hot spring to get cleaned up from the fight. It being an upper middle class village, the hot spring was directly adjacent to the tennis courts. All the way there Shippo has been talking about the battle and how great he had been, all InuYasha said was "squish, squish, squish, squish" with each step. They arrived at the conveniently located spring, and jumped in to wash a way the filth of the killer slug. InuYasha wondered, as he always did why Shippo still had no pecker, and why he still wore a bow in his hair in a very metro-sexual fashion.

The arrived back at the camp just in time for the feast.. Being somewhat continental in their tastes, the villagers presented their heroes with hummus and pita chips to start, open-faced reubens with sauerkraut for the main course, and something that looked kinda like slug goo for dessert. Be that as it may, the food was great, and the sake even better, Apparently the brew masters of this particular village were descended from a long line if Irish sake makers, and really knew their stuff. Before they knew it, they were all dancing around the fire, singing, and toasting Shippo's salt slinging prowess. Even InuYasha joined in the festivities, and after a few drinks they realized that he had a beautiful singing voice. His rendition of "Can't Live, If Livin Is Without You" had them all in tears. Eventually they all passed out where they happened to be at the time they passed out.

--

Miroku stood shakily, and began to straighten his robes, and dust himself off. Suddenly he felt something not quite right. "What!" he gasped as he pulled aside his robes for a visual inspection. "Not again!" He tore through the camp, digging through provisions and the leftovers of last nights feast. "It has to be here somewhere!" He continued his search, getting more and more desperate as each second passed.

"What are you doing?" Sango had been roused by the sounds of breaking crockery and muffled curses.

"I'm looking for something!" he said, beginning to panic.

"What?"

"Something!" he yelled.

"You know, Miroku, I had a great time last night. I never knew you were such a great dancer. My head is still a little tender, but what say you and I slip away for a while before any one else wakes up?"

Miroku stood up straight and rigid. He turned slowly and looked at the slayer. She was lightly biting one finger, and with the other hand was motioning him to come closer.

"Well they could wake up at any second. In fact I think I see Kagome stirring."

"Come on big boy and, how did you say it last night 'back that thing up'." She turned and began to seductively sway her hips and grind her rear as she had the night before.

Miroku closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, "I can't."

She stopped and looked at him, wondering if he was seriously ill or had been trying to disguise the fact the he had secretly been gay the whole time.

"Why not?

"Iloms m pns." he mumbled.

"What?" she took a step closer.

"I LOST MY PENIS!"

Everyone began to stir at the monks distressed cry.

"What are you talking about! I've felt it plenty of times when you've run into me 'on accident'. How can you just loose your penis!?"

"He lost his what!?" Kagome blushed at the word.

Everyone was wide awake now and clamoring to hear why everyone was yelling about the monk's dick.

"Well," Miroku decided he had to tell them the truth if he ever wanted to find his friend again. "the wind tunnel in my hand is not the only thing my family is cursed with. We also have the curse of, The Detachable Penis!"

Everyone gasped, and then said "Huh?" because they had no idea what they were gasping about.

"The Detachable Penis is a part of the curse that Naraku inflicted upon my family. If we ever lose control, I mean really lose mental control over our bodies, the penis can detach, and roam around wherever it wants to. Last night I must have gotten so drunk, that it detached, and wandered off in the night."

Everyone's mouths hung open at that thought of Miroku's penis crawling around like an inch worm.

"Why do you think I was always so keen on somebody bearing my children?"

"I thought you were just really desperate, and didn't know you could just pay for it at most villages." quipped InuYasha.

"No! I wanted to BE with a woman before it got away again, and would never have another chance. Wait, you can pay for it?"

Sango was stunned, but automatically yelled out "Hentai!" and swung her bone boomerang at the perverted priests head.

Miroku was in no mood for her little dominatrix routine at the moment. He raised his staff, blocked the blow, and flung the weapon across the clearing. "Woman! You will desist with such attacks until I have found my penis! I have lost it before, but was luckily able to find it again."

Sango immediately felt her knees go weak. She had never been spoken to with such firm force from this man. Why couldn't he be this way all the time? She decided to try again and see what happened. She raised up to crack him on the top of the head. He turned a glared at her.

"I said to stop." His voice was hard. "Chastise me later if necessary. Until then, nothing will stop me from finding...my Detachable Penis."

Moisture began to gather in her nether regions. No one had ever backed her down with a look before. She didn't want a groper, groping was sweet in it's way, but she was a professional demon slayer. At the end of the day she didn't want sweet, she wanted a man to bend her over, and tell her how she was going to get it! She wanted him badly, but what she wanted, wasn't where it should be.

Sango took charge.

"Kagome! You, Shippo, Kirara, and I will search the woods. InuYasha, sniff Miroku's crotch, and see if you can get a bearing on that penis. Miroku, you go and see if anyone in the village has seen it. Let's go people! Let's find that penis!"

They all ran off to their assigned search zones. InuYasha took a good whiff of the monks groinal area, and set off, sniffing and snuffling the ground like a coon dog on the hunt.

--

"Pardon me, but have you seen my penis?" SLAP!

"Excuse me, have you seen an errant penis around here? POW!

"My penis seems to have escaped me, I was wondering, has it been here today? SMACK!

"Penis...Gone...Nothing...in Pants." BLAMMO!

Miroku was not having a good day. His search for his penis had turned up nothing, except a growing collection of lumps on his head. The same villagers that had been so grateful the day before, were now curiously hostile towards his phallic inquiries.

He trudged up the hill, past the nail salon, and back to camp. He had been looking all day. Now he was exhausted, and just wanted some rest before resuming the search tomorrow. It was growing dark when he reached the camp. The others were there except Sango, and Kagome cooking dinner.

She waved as he got nearer. "Hey Miroku! Any luck finding your penis!?"

He cringed at her words, words he never thought he would hear anyone, especially Kagome, utter. They would never take him seriously as a lecher again.

"No. No luck. Where's Sango?"

"Still looking, I guess. Don't worry, we'll find your penis tomorrow. Who knows, maybe it will come back on it's own tonight. Want some Ramen?" her normal upbeat attitude grated on his nerves.

"No thanks, not really hungry for some reason." he couldn't get his mind off of what it was going to be like without a penis for the rest of his life. His only comfort was that his wind tunnel would devour him soon, and that he wouldn't have to worry about it any more.

He was startled from his thoughts of the saving virtues of an early death by Sango bursting through the trees and into the clearing. She was out of breath, and her face was flushed from running.

"Miroku! Did you find it? I mean, did it come back!' she rushed up to him, and before he had a chance to reply, roughly grabbed his crotch to feel for herself.

"Hey! Easy there! It's just the penis that's gone, my balls are still down there.!"

"Sorry, I thought it had come back after I found it." she turned and walked to the fire to see what Ramen flavor Kagome was preparing tonight.

"W-W-W-What do you mean after you found it? If you found it, why didn't you bring it back?"

She spun, "I-uh-well." she twisted her hair nervously, and looked at the ground. "Actually, it kinda found... me."

"You will tell me everything!" his voice boomed with authority. She had no choice but to obey him, she licked her lips, wishing he had his member so she could take him here and now.

"I followed InuYasha into the forest on the trail of your penis. But after a while he got distracted and started chasing some squirrels instead, so I went on alone. My head was still kinda sore, so I lay dawn beside a tree and fell asleep." She paused not wanting to continue her tale in front of them all. Miroku was in no mood for her stalling.

"Continue!" she started at the force of the word.

"I was wakened by something wriggling and crawling up my thigh. It felt good, and I just lay there for a minute while it worked it's way higher and higher. I opened my eyes, and saw that it was... a penis."

"Was it mine?" he asked.

"Well, I was pretty sure it was seeing that you are the only man I know of whose dick can jump down and have sex on it's own!" She covered her mouth with her hand at the slip-up.

"Aaaagggghhhh! Not again! Why did you let it?"

She looked at the ground and bit her lip. "It was very persistent. VERY PERSISTENT."

Miroku was visibly upset. His normal calm and collected demeanor had been replaced with one of desperate betrayal.

"How could you Sango?! How could you fuck my penis without me?!"


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the link to the Detachable Penis music video

/overdrive/?id1536063&vid46915

Detachable Penis

Chapter 2

Sango had been wrong. It was not she who had found the Detachable Penis, nor was it the penis that had found her.

Sesshomaru was perched on the roof of the Starbucks, sipping a double shot, non fat, extra foam, caramel machiato. There was a Starbucks conveniently located at all of the six hot springs that surrounded the upper-middle class peasant village, and he often stopped in when he needed a pick me up, or just needed a good WiFi hot spot.

At the moment though his attention was focused on the group in the clearing. The group had sat in rapture as Sango explained, in graphic detail, just how the penis had brought her to the heights of ecstasy over and over again. Miroku sat on the ground with his head in his hands. He groaned each time Sango related how good his penis had felt, or how she had cum, yet again from the powerful strokes of his penis.

Sesshomaru was amused. He did not know that the monk's curse extended past his hand, and wondered what other bizarre curses Naraku could conjure.

--

He had found the Detachable Penis in the forest this morning. His keen nose had smelled the monk as he made his way towards the small group of shard hunters. He had been baffled for a while, thinking his senses had betrayed him. Finally he saw why the priest could be smelled, but not seen. He reached down and picked penis up. Sesshomaru was nothing if not curious. He examined the penis closely, wondering what spell could animate such an appendage, and finally placed it in his kimono.

As he made his way closer to their camp, he ran across the slayer. She was looking for something. "Here, Detachable Penis!" she called as she wandered through the woods, "Here peni-peni-peni! Sango wants to play with you!" She sat down by a tree, tired out from the search. "I have got to figure out a better name for that man's cock."

She rubbed her head, and leaned back, only meaning to rest for a few minutes, but fell asleep instead.

Sesshomaru thought to simply return the penis by means of the slayer. It would save him the embarrassment of having to hand a man his own dick.

Silently he strode towards her, he pulled the penis from his sleeve, but stopped when she moaned. "Ooooo, yeah, Miroku baby, boss me around. Tell me what to do. Show me you're in charge."

He was surprised. He had never thought taijiya had anything other than violent tendency's towards the monk. A cruel smile played across his lips. He was simply going to drop the penis in the grass beside her, and speed away. Instead, he gently placed the penis against her leg, under her kimono. It immediately began crawling up her leg.

He jumped to the limb of a nearby tree to observe what would happen. Her legs began to squirm as the penis made it's way to her thigh.

"Oh yes! Take me like you want to!"

She had woken up, and was trying to figure out why the dream still felt so real. She pulled up her kimono, and saw the penis rubbing against the cloth of her undergarments.

"Oh, there you are, Miroku will be so pleased that I found you." the penis continued to rub in an attempt to gain access to her now dripping opening. Sango picked the penis up, and looked at it carefully. It wasn't huge by any means, but the monk had nothing to be embarrassed about either.

The penis twitched in her hand, apparently enjoying the attention. Sango knew she shouldn't, but she was so wet, and just didn't want to get up and walk all the way back to camp just yet. She set the penis back between her legs, and pushed the bindings aside.

Sesshomaru sat in the tree, listening to the moans and grunts that came from the woman. He wondered if there might not be some use for such an item. He stayed, filing his claws with an emory board till the slayer finally passed out from exhaustion and ecstasy. He dropped to the ground, and picked up the penis, dangling it between two claws. He still had questions that needed to be answered.

--

So, the monk could feel nothing while his errant phallus wasn't attached to him. This suited his plans perfectly. He continued to watch the group, and glean all the information that he could before implementing his newfound plan.

He stood, and walked into the clearing, he was almost upon them before anyone knew of his presence.

"Sesshy!" Kagome screamed and ran to him. She jumped, and threw her arms around his neck, planting a big kiss on his cheek. "Where have you been? I was wondering when you would come and see me again."

"I was delayed," his voice slightly warmer than when he talked to others. "There was an uprising on the southern border. A small army of hummingbird youkai were prepared to invade the Western Lands, but I soon showed them who was boss."

Kagome and Sesshomaru had been dating for a few months. He would stop in on the shard hunters whenever he could, to get word on Naraku's whereabouts, and continue his quest to get into her pants. They had made out plenty of times, and he had even gotten to second base a few times.

The problem was that he had been a little too graphic in relating the mating ritual to her. The whole doggy style, beast unleashed pounding, followed by a bestial roar as he bit a huge chunk out of her shoulder had not gotten her in the mood. What had helped even less was when he revealed the tool that he planned to do the pounding with. Her face had gone white as she had stared openly him. He was proud that it had scared her a little, but was slapping himself because she was terrified of it now.

They would kiss and pet, and lick each other, but every time she would begin to grind her hips or ass against him and feel IT responding, she would "Eek!", turn white again, and suddenly need to get back to the others. He was beginning to wonder if this relationship was going to work at all or not. I mean, what good is a meaningful relationship without the beast roaring, shoulder chewing, pussy pounding?

He pretended to listen as Kagome and Sango retold the story of Miroku's affliction and the events of the day. He nodded and said "Hn" where appropriate. When the girls had finished, he said, "I will aid in your search in the morning. Kagome, would you care to dine with me?" She giggled, and of course say yes. Sango went to try and console Miroku telling him that they begin the search at spot where she had her interlude this afternoon.

The Olive Garden had been perfect, the unlimited salad and bread sticks had helped to quell the Inu's voracious appetite till his double order of lasagna had arrived. Kagome had eaten a little off of his plate. He growled each time she snaked her fork over to steal a bite. When the massive piece of chocolate cake had arrived for dessert, it had been all hers, cuz everyone knows that dogs shouldn't eat chocolate.

They walked slowly back towards the camp, arm in arm, talking and whispering sweetly in each others ears. They sat down on a park bench, and cuddled close, kissing, and nibbling each others faces and necks. She threw one leg over, straddling his lap so she would have better access to his mouth. He growled softly, and slipped a hand up her shirt.

He wondered again why women of the future had devised such devious contraptions as the one she wore under her shirt. Why would she bind her breasts in such garment, knowing that he would have such difficulties removing it from her person. The first time, he had simply cut the straps that held it in place. He would not repeat such an assault on her undergarments again. She had been quite cross, and had stomped off yelling about the stupidity of dogs, and the need for a Secret store of some kind he couldn't quite remember.

The next time he had tried in vain to undo the fastening mechanism, only to conclude that it had in fact been designed by his enemies, in an attempt to keep him frustrated and from the bounteous mounds he knew lay concealed beneath the wire and silk.

This time, he easily defeated the torturous device and simply pushed it up and over the top of her breasts. She groaned in his ear as he squeezed their flesh. He pushed her shirt up as well, and leaned down to kiss her dark nipples, gently at first, but more passionately as the taste of her sweet flesh began to drive him wild. His tongue swirled, and teased as she grabbed his hair and gently bit his ear.

He began to suck and nibble lightly on her now hardened nipples. She writhed in pleasure, she knew that he loved her breasts, and was more than happy for him to pleasure them as much as he wanted to. They stayed like this, him lavishing attention on her prominent endowments, and she whimpering and grinding her pelvis into his...until.

She stopped, and sat still. He continued for a moment, hoping she hadn't felt what he knew she had. "What's wrong?" He twitched his hardening length against her backside again.

"Umm. Ahh. I've got to get back to the others." she said pulling her shirt and bra back into place. "I don't want them coming to look for me and finding us like this." She tried to slide back off his lap.

He held her still. "Kagome, why do you always leave when we are beginning to enjoy ourselves? You know that I would never force you into anything that you thought was uncomfortable."

"I know, I know. It's just, I want to but, I ... just...can't! I gotta go."

She slid down, and started to walk back to the camp, adjusting her clothes as she went.

"Kagome." She turned to look at him standing by the bench. "If you wish to continue where we left off , come to the hot spring. I will be there."

"Ok, which hot spring will you be at?" she asked even though she knew she wouldn't go.

"The one by the Barnes and Nobles" he replied. There was a Starbucks there, and he could read new "Field and Stream" while he waited.

She lifted her hand and waved, and walked back to camp. It wasn't that she didn't want to do it with the gorgeous Youkai, she did, desperately. She dreamed about making love to him almost every night. She would often wake up sweaty, breathing hard, and in need of a fresh pair of panties. There were two reasons she hesitated, when what she really wanted was for him to take and claim her.

The first was the term "pupped", he used it, InuYasha used it, hell everyone used it to describe her being pregnant with their children. The idea of bearing children with him was not a bad one. She wanted to bear him strong sons and daughters that could take up the role of protector and guardian of the Western Lands. What held her back was the sight of her neighbors dog, giving birth to eight little puppies all at once. She knew that it they made love, she would immediately be full to bursting with a multitude of mini InuYasha's. All yelling, and fighting, and calling each other a dirty bastard, and looking for clay pots to screw.

The other reason, was his mighty sword. No, not the ones on his hip, the one in his pants. She had never seen a human males penis before, but she was pretty sure that they paled in comparison to his weapon. She was not as innocent as everyone thought, she had acquired a few items that brought her pleasure, even more so now that she had a face to think about. But none of them even came close to him. She was concerned the he would either hurt her, or would leave her when the physical realities would not allow him to enter her at all.

She wondered if she would wake her friends again with mews and moans in the night. Kami, she wanted to fuck him! But not if it meant loosing him forever, or being split in two.

Sesshomaru watched as she walked away. He marveled again at the complexity of this woman. Did all human males have such difficulties bedding their women? If so, it was a wonder the species had thrived the was it did. No matter, he smoothed his kimono, checking to make sure the penis still safely stashed inside. He would return it to the monk, after it had helped him accomplish his own purposes.

After the camp had fallen asleep, Sesshomaru strode silently towards her. He bent down, but stopped when she said quietly, "Oh, Sesshy, yeah, give it to me baby. Yeah, right there, it feels sooo..." she rolled over and continued her MA rated dream. He grinned, and carefully slipped something into the bottom of her sleeping bag. Oh she was ready, but he would make her come and ask him to claim her. He left, and began to make his way to their previously discussed meeting place. He wondered if there would be any scones left at the coffee shop when he got there.

--


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: Sorry for the rant last chapter and the delay in posting this one. BE WARNED: There be lemon ahead. Hope you laugh, and hot all hot and bothered at the same time. Enjoy.

4--

Detachable Penis

Chapter 3

Kagome's eyes snapped open. They panned the campsite, looking for any signs of movement. No one stirred. She thought for sure she had screamed out loud, but apparently not. She sighed, and rolled to her other side.

The dream had felt so real, like he had been there touching her. Her body was hot, like he had been pressed up against it. She had gone to sleep wanting to use the vibrator just a few feet away in her pack, but InuYasha had been awake up on his tree limb. She looked up and found his seated figure. His chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm. She could faintly hear him snoring "Hhhhmmmmmm – Keeeeeehhhhhh, Hhhhmmmmmm – Keeeeeehhhhhh."

She wondered if she could get her battery operated friend out without any one noticing. She was so hot and worked up, she just wanted some release so she could sleep peacefully. It was always this way after one of their dates. She would run away from him, scared of being impaled on his humongous cock, and either lay awake all night in frustration, or slip away to the hot springs for a little "Me" time.

She started as Sango rolled over muttering, "Peni, peni, peni, wanna come out and play?" She shouldn't risk it. She had narrowly escaped detection before by the others, and was in no mood to explain why she had a bright pink stick shoved in her pants that said "Hmmmmmm."

There was a warm sensation in her groin, that had started during her make out sessions with Sesshomaru. She reached a hand down, only to find that she was dripping wet. Her panties were soaked, and there was a slick river running across her thigh. She remembered her dream, it had been so vivid. Sesshomaru had been there, stroking her, caressing her skin, taking her breath away as he lightly played his claws across her thighs.

She didn't usually dream like this. It was normally things like, very short skirts on sale, or killing Naraku, or strawberry pocky. Nothing like the sex orgy she had just awoken from. He had touched her and teased her, she had wanted so much more, but for some reason, he wouldn't take her panties off. He had rubbed her to ecstasy and beyond, but he couldn't go past her panties.

Her brow furrowed slightly as she wondered what such a dream might mean. Her eyes began to close, and the dream began again.

He was laying with her, in her sleeping bag, completely naked, pressed tight against her body. She could feel his manhood sliding higher and higher, up her thigh towards her gushing slit. She moaned as he moved and slid against her opening. _This is what I want. I want him in me._ But like before, he wouldn't enter her. Instead, he pushed against the sheer wet fabric, like it was chain mail or something equally as impenetrable. _This isn't right. That mighty boner of his should have no problems with a pair of cotton briefs. _

The dilemma caused her to wake again, and wonder what was going on. Why would she have such a strange dream twice? "Hhhmmmmmm," she moaned again in pleasure. _Wait! Why am I moaning? __I'm awake now. _Her eyes flicked back and forth, trying to figure out what was going on. She had moaned because something, had felt... good. Not just good, it felt as if the dream was still going on. It felt as id he was still there, pressing against the barrier of her 3 for 20.00 Victoria's Secret specials.

She reached down to examine, and barely contained an Eep, when her hand came into contact with something unexpected. Not hard and slick like her vibrator, but warm and soft. It was pushing against her, trying to gain access, but didn't have the power rip through, or the dexterity to push it aside. She brought it out into the dim glow of the campfire. Even in the low light she knew what it was. She stifled another Eep, and held it delicately between two fingernails. _Miroku's penis! How in the world did it get in my sleeping bag? _She examined it, being the only live human dick she had ever actually had any contact with.

_Well, at least Sango won't be disappointed when she gets her hands on it again._ The penis writhed and wriggled in her hand, continuing it's quest to find a pleasurable location and take up residence. She remembered back to the night that Sesshomaru had flashed his doggy ding-a-ling at her. She looked at the penis in her hand, by comparison Sesshomaru's was a third leg.

She pulled the pillowcase off of her pillow and carefully dropped the penis inside and tied the opening shut. Setting the bag down next to her, she lay back down, and wondered if she would be able to get back to sleep.

The bag moved, it bumped and twitched, as the penis inside tried to find the warm moist spot it had been in only moments ago. Kagome bit her lip, she couldn't sleep with a confined penis thrashing about beside her. It's gyrations only made her desire stronger, the warm feeling in her groin had developed into a raging fire that was desperately demanding release.

Her hand found it's way back down inside her soaked panties. She began to rub and touch her throbbing pussy. Maybe it would be enough to just touch herself to climax, and get it out of her system. Her fingers felt good, but she knew that it would not be enough. She was pretty sure that the pink pocket rocket wouldn't do the trick either. _I need a penis! A real penis!_

She stood on wobbly legs, picked up the still animated pillowcase, and quietly left the camp. She walked quickly down the path. _I just need a good secluded place, out of ear shot of the camp._ Unconsciously, her feet were taking her towards the afore mentioned rendezvous point at the hot spring behind the Barnes & Nobles. The springs were closed for the night, but the gate was not locked. She crept inside and looked around to make sure that there would be no prying eyes to witness her pleasure.

Sitting down in the grass, she untied the bag, and let the mobile pecker free. The spring's heater must have been turned off, because when she dipped it in the water, it experienced some...shrinkage. She lay back and stroked it's soft skin and the penis responded with new life. It renewed it's previous movements with vigor, growing and moving under her touch.

Kagome had heard her friends from school talk about all the fun and naughty things they liked to do to their boyfriends, or just random guys at the bus station. It had always intrigued her how they could be so amorous about such a strange and disgusting body part. She was beginning to understand her slutty friends near obsession with sex. She felt powerful, and sexy, getting the penis to respond to her caresses.

She had control over a man's dick, and thereby control over the man. Well, not in this case, because the man wasn't connected, but she understood the point now. Now that she was in a dark and secluded place, she suddenly didn't want to rush it anymore. She wanted to see if the monks cursed member could make her moan and scream in pleasure, the way Sango said it had for her.

She knew that it was wrong to take advantage of the poor monks wayward lad like this, but she was so worked up now, she just didn't care. Her soiled panties were soon laying in the grass beside her, and she pulled her nightgown up above her waist. She rubbed the penis's tip around her now engorged pussy lips, letting it get slick with the juices that now freely flowed. The penis was rock hard now, and every time it passed her opening, it twitched, as if it knew where it wanted to be.

With a low moan, she pushed the tip inside, slowly getting used to the feeling. As more of the penis disappeared inside her, she knew why her friends had always preferred the real thing to a vibrator or dildo. There was texture, and warmth, it was completely different somehow. She slowly stroked it in and out, relishing the feeling of a real penis inside her. She wondered how long she could keep it before she would have to give it back to Miroku. She pulled the nightgown up and over her head so she could rub and massage one breast as the other hand worked the length inside her.

She knew that if she wanted to she could climax soon, but she didn't want it to be over yet. She wondered what time the Hot Spring lifeguards arrived for work, and if she could just stay the rest of the night and take advantage of the Detachable Penis. She wished Sesshomaru were here, how she wished it was his cock inside of her instead of this...manless one. Now that she had a real one inside her, she wasn't so scared of his giant todger.

"Miko," a deep voice washed over her. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that it was just a part of the insane sexual fantasy she had created. "You appear to be in some distress. Are you in need of this Sesshomaru's assistance?"

This was no fantasy, her eyes popped open. He was sitting on his haunches between her legs, one eyebrow cocked, with his smirk firmly in place.

Kagome let go of the penis, and tried to cover herself with her hands. "Sesshomaru! I-I-I ummm, what are you doing heruuuuunghhhhhh. She groaned, and her hips bucked upwards. Evidentially, the penis was capable of continuing on it's own power. It had started to resume it's thrusting without the aid of her hand.

"Are you in need of my assistance, Miko?" Sesshomaru asked again in his usual, nothing ever surprises me voice.

She stared at him. She didn't understand the question. The penis within her thrust again, "Unnghhh, I don't know what, unnghhh, you mean!"

Sesshomaru bent over and with his eyes locked on hers, and slowly ran his tongue from her navel to her lips, finishing with a long very tonguey kiss.

"Do you NEED my... ASSISTANCE?" He looked at her, his eyes filled with lust and longing, willing her to understand what he wanted.

She nodded, "Yes, I, unnghhh, need you."

That was all he wanted, for her to come to him, and say that she wanted him. He would never have taken her any other way.

He grinned and knelt on the grass. With one hand, he caressed her breast, kneading the soft flesh and rubbing her nipples between his fingers. With the other hand, he pushed her legs apart. She resisted for a moment, but was too far gone to care about any modesty whatsoever at this point. She spread for him, he could see the penis still moving in and out.

She waited for him to remove it, but he didn't. Instead he bent low, and began to lick the inside of her thighs, his tongue soft and rough. He ran his tongue around her lips and teased them as the penis continued slow pumping. She gasped when his tongue found her clit and rolled over it sending shock waves of energy running through her body.

He concentrated on her button as his hand continued to stimulate both breasts in turn. She gasped and jerked each time his lips and tongue slid across it. She screamed when he began to gently suck on it, he continued sucking and flicked the bud with the tip of his tongue at the same time. Her hips bucked against his face as her orgasm washed over her. Her legs locked around his head as he continued to lick and suck her sensitive clit.

The crashing waves of her climax began to ebb and Kagome opened her eyes again, her ragged breathing starting to slow.

"Oh, gods, Sesshomaru, that was... amazing, I mean, it's never been that... intense!" she bubbled, the warm feeling was still in her groin, but no longer demanding release. Her hips rocked as the penis continued to slowly move of it's own volition. Sesshomaru smiled down at her. He was so gorgeous, she had always wanted him, and now that her inhibitions had been shattered, she would.

She pulled his head down for a kiss, plunging her tongue into his hot mouth, and slipped her hands inside his kimono, feeling his hard muscles and smooth skin.

"Sesshomaru, I NEED you." She gazed into his eyes and licked her lips. There would be no miscommunication or stupid excuses tonight. Tonight she would have this man, this dog demon, and whatever came with it. If she dislocated her pelvis because of his monstrous bone, or was immediately pupped with dozens of tiny hanyous, she didn't care anymore. "I WANT you."

She kissed him again, and ran her tongue across the sharp edge of his fangs. Her hands slipped down and tried to push the silk hakama off his hips. He righted himself on his knees, loosed the knot, and the beautiful silk pooled on the ground between them. She gazed at his now naked body, so perfect, the epitome of male perfection. Her eyes widened as they focused on his arousal.

It was not as intimidating as the last time she saw it. Her overactive imagination had transformed his endowment in size and ferocity into a tree sized rabid cock monster. She felt bad, making him wait so long just because her brain had decided to have problems with depth perception.

"Sesshomaru," she scooted on her butt towards him, her legs slipping between his. "I'm sorry, for frustrating you," she reached both hands up and lightly grasped him, "I... want to... make it up to you." She kissed the tip, and his dick twitched in response. She smiled, "I want to," kiss, "show you," kiss, "how sorry," lick, "I really," lick, "am."

Her lips parted and slipped around his girth. He moaned in response, his eyes rolled in their sockets and his head lolled back. His hand came and rested on her head, and his fingers tangled in her hair. He groaned again, as she stroked, and licked, and sucked him.

His eyes opened when she moaned as well, and he remembered that the penis was still doggedly continuing it's movements inside her. Whereas before, he had been fine with the Detachable Penis warming his little miko up for him, now, it was unacceptable. He gently pushed her back on the grass, and pulled his hakama off his legs.

He bent low to kiss her mouth, and trail kisses down to her breasts. She moaned when he sucked on her nipples, and gasped when he lightly bit them. She pushed her chest up, mashing his face into her cleavage. At the same time, he reached down, and slowly pulled the penis out. It came out with "Schllukk" and he tossed it aside beside their clothes.

She thrust her pelvis towards his, "Sesshomaru, please! I need you in me, I don't care if there are tiny InuYashas running around, shitting on the carpet, I just want you!"

Her last statement, put him off a bit. He had no idea how InuYasha could change his size or numbers, and he assumed that InuYasha shit in the woods like most dogs did. Why had she brought up InuYasha? The mere thought of her thinking about the hanyou at a time like this was enough to make a guy go limp. What did this have to do with them fucking?

She noticed his puzzled expression, and realized that her last comment may have sounded a bit strange to anyone not currently residing in Kagome's mind. "Never mind, please, I want you in me." She pulled his hips towards hers.

He shook the images of small crapping half-breeds from his mind and gazed at the beautiful creature beneath him. She was a vision, flushed with passion and love, he knew that she would be the only woman he could ever truly love, and he prayed that she felt the same towards him. He lowered himself and kissed her as his rod pressed against her opening. Her face held no fear, no apprehension, she knew that he would never hurt her in any way.

He pressed slowly into her, trying to give her time to adjust and relax. He hoped she would not feel any pain, and was reassured when she moaned and pulled him in deeper. He smiled and began slowly thrusting. She was so wet and hot, her tight walls gripped him. Her breasts quivered and he dove down to take one perfect nipple in his mouth for a moment.

Why had she waited so long? What had she been so afraid of? This was bliss! They were moving as one, her hips meeting his in a slow dance of passion. Her hands pulled on his butt wanting more of him in her. He obliged and filled her to the hilt, she gasped as he plunged inside her again and again.

She moaned and panted, urging him with her hands and hips to go faster, harder. He grunted, and sped up his tempo, crashing into her body, letting his weight push him into her. Her back arched as she neared her peak again, "Oh! Sesshomaru! Fill me! I want you to fill me up!"

He pounded her, and she met his every stroke. She came like a tsunami this time, her muscles clamped down on him as she screamed in pleasure. He grunted with every thrust till he could hold back no longer. He erupted like a volcano inside her, as her tight walls gripped and held him inside until he relaxed.

He rolled to his side, and they lay there, cuddled close, kissing and whispering their love to each other. He pulled his kimono over them, and she fell asleep. He closed his eyes, and rested. Dawn would not be too far off, and they would have to get back to her friends.

He felt something touching and poking his ass. He smiled and growled softly, thinking that his sexy miko had plans other than sleep. But both her hands were in plain sight. He reached back, and brought the molesting item into view. The Detachable Penis writhed and twitched hoping to find some more action. Sesshomaru's first inclination was to allow the poison in his claws to disintegrate the cursed prick. He thought better of it, this pathetic thing had helped him achieve his goal, and he was grateful.

He would never say that he was grateful to another man's penis, so not destroying it would have to be enough. He may kill the monk, but he was not so cruel as to permanently separate him from his manhood. He tied it back up in the pillowcase, and rolled back to embrace his beloved. He tried to think of the best way to deliver it back to it's owner, without actually having to hand it to him.

--

They walked hand in hand back to the camp, the morning sun warming their faces. She balanced two car carriers of coffee, and he had two bags under his arm. They reached the clearing just as everyone was rousing from their slumber. Kagome passed out the coffee and bagels to everyone, and received thank you's all around. Sesshomaru had a thing for periodicals, and had bought everyone a magazine.

"Guns and Ammo, for the slayer, Shonen Jump, for the kit, and Maxim for the monk." Sesshomaru said as he distributed them among the group.

"Hey!" InuYasha looked up from his triple shot Americana, "What about me?"

"Ah yes, InuYasha, here you are, Martha Stewart Living." he presented the glossy magazine to the dumbfounded hanyou, and turned.

"Wait a minute!" Sesshomaru turned back as InuYasha shoved the magazine out to him. "Why the hell'd ya get me this?"

"InuYasha, I picked that out for you especially. I figured it would be quite useful to you, considering your situation."

"Huh?" InuYasha's head cocked to one side.

"See here" Sesshomaru pointed to an article title on the cover and smirked, "How To Repair Cracked Clay Pots."

"Keh" InuYasha grumbled and he walked away. He jumped up to his limb, and began to thumb through the pages.

Sesshomaru smirked, and turned to the other matter of business for the morning. It would not do for Kagome to return it to him, and he would not allow it to roam his lands screwing whatever warm hole it came across. And he hated to think what they would face should Naraku ever implant a jewel shard in it.

"Priest" Miroku looked up from the article entitled 'How to get More Junk in Her Trunk'. "I believe I have found something of yours. I would take better care of it, I may not be here to find it again." He held out the pillowcase. Miroku jumped up and ripped the case open.

"You found it, oh thank you Sesshomaru-sama, thank you. You have no idea how worried I have been since it went missing." he bowed over and over again, while turning the penis over and over in his hands to make sure it was OK.

Kagome and Sesshomaru sat on a log and watched the camp. Shippo, nose in his manga. InuYasha, trying to figure out if the mud around the camp would make a suitable patching compound. Miroku and Sango, arguing whether or not they should reattach his penis before she went another round with it.

"Strange, don't ya think," Kagome nestled against his chest. "It took Miroku's penis to get me in bed with you."

"Indeed" he stroked her hair, "I am glad however that the penis has been returned to it's owner. I trust you will have no further interaction with it."

She giggled, "You know, we have lots of Detachable Penises in my time." He looked down at her, puzzled by the statement. "But most of them are running countries or large corporations."

He quirked his head to the side, trying to wrap his brain around the mental image. Scores and hundreds of animated penises, walking around, making laws, having meetings, arguing over policy and rules.

"If penises rule your world, I suppose it explains the lewd nature of your clothing." She feigned anger and playfully slapped his chest.

"You know, we also have Detachable Penises, that are for, more enjoyable... purposes." She stood and placed something in his hand. She took a few bouncy steps away, towards the forest. She turned and ran her tongue across her lips, and bit her little finger.

Sesshomaru looked down at the strange object she had placed in his hand. One eyebrow quirked and a delicious sneer crossed his lips as he stood and followed her towards the woods.

"Indeed."

The pink vibrator just said, "Hmmmmmmmmmmm."

END

See my dilemma in lemon classification:

Not Female Solo, because Miroku's penis is there.

Not Toys, because it is a human appendage.

Not a three way, because Miroku's not really there.

Not straight M/F cause Miroku's penis is there.

Anywho! Thanks, as always, to my sexy beta and love of my life, Mamasama6. Thanks to yukihime for the original idea and challenge. And I want to thank all my boys out there sportin their Detachable Penises, and all the women that currently hold them. Be looking later this year for my new Detachable Penis line of cologne called, "WTF?"

4--


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